launcher

by riley

2009-09-25 00:57:36 PDT

i woke up this morning at 7am. out of the ordinary, definitely; the real problem was not the clock, however, but the shocking twisting in my guts. inside me it felt like a boxer testing a new heavy bag's give. incredible really.

i got in the bathtub immediately. this is my go-to solution to any kind of negative feelings and, straight up dogs, sweating in a hot tub really is a fantastic way to improve my outlook on most things. if i can focus i'll read a book, but if i can't i'll just soak and think-- let my mind wander to wherever it's going to end up.

this morning though, all my mind would turn to was the churning of my stomach. i knew vomit was inevitable but for some reason the time wasn't right. the balance was definitely off in the washing machine of my belly but it wasn't burning anything so the smoke detectors weren't chasing the inhabitants of my stomach out yet.

stomach inhabitants: i remembered back to my meal the night before. pasta with hamburger and tomato sauce. at the simple thought of eating my stomach tossed its contents dramatically in horrible directions not meant to be traveled by matter from the standard dimensions. the smoke detectors began to ring and those within my stomach glanced around nervously and headed for the door.

"ogh JEsus," i wet-burped, and pulled myself dripping out of the water and toward the toilet-- which i had peed in before getting in the tub and not flushed because then the tub fills with scalding hot water. mistake.

as i got near the toilet, the sonny liston right hand of the stench of urine hit my washing machine, and it didn't just smoke or catch fire-- it fucking exploded. the alarms screamed "danger !" and the tenants of my stomach raced for the door.

i heaved, hard; a defeated fighter swinging one last wild punch as he falls, broken. it felt like i had a bulldozer in my esophagus at top speed pushing a huge load of misery toward my clenched throat.

misery won, as it has a way of doing. chunks of food cannon'd out of me like baseballs from a pitching machine covered in vile, bitter acid, splashing the fetid pisswater into my face.

"OH GOD NO !!" i tried to roar, horrified, but the bulldozer just kept pushing the filth out as the sonny liston piss fired brutal salvos into my midsection. the balls of horror choked my cries to the non-existent, uncaring, or indescribably cruel deity to whom i pleaded.

it felt like an eternity, this impossibly vicious cycle of launching poisonous foodstuffs into a soup of vomit and urine, which then launched back at me. was that why no god heard me ? was this finally, really hell ? to be choked by your own expunged contents ? i couldn't think of a better definition...

and then it was over. my body began to fill with a calm even as tears streamed from my eyes. i flushed the toilet and the stench drifted toward me in a last goodbye as it was pulled away and i washed my face. my stomach unclenched; no more haymakers to be endured. i rinsed my mouth, brushed my teeth, and got back in the bathtub to enjoy the gift of letting my mind wander.

---