2010-04-05 21:02:39 PDT
Okay, pregnancy/baby chat numbs my brain like nothing else, but I will say: being 10 days overdue sucks balls. Pregnancy is sucktown anyway, but this just takes the piss. 10 days! W! TF! THIS WAS NOT THE DEAL!
And if I get any more stupid unsolicited advice, or hear how it's all worth it in the end, or have one more person ask me a wildly inappropriate question about bits that are none of anyone's business, or ask me why/what I'm eating/not eating, or ask me how much weight I've gained, I'm going to start cutting faces.
Gonna go eat a steak now, and pretend it's human fucking flesh.
Forgot to add: "Oooh, do you have baby dreams? I had sooo many dreams about babies at the end! Bleeeah blah blooo adorbs babies are Jesus!"
This is the one cashiers like best. And the other day I was thinking, well, actually, no, because recently what I dreamed was that r. kelly released a new album called Fuck Vacation and I saw it online and fell over laughing and was so excited to tell Riley. But you can't really say that in response to "Aw, are you dreaming of your baby's face? Because when I was pregnant, I dreamed of my baby's precious, precious toes, and there was such an overwhelming feeling of love and just, like, perfection, and holiness, and me me me mememememe..."
I like my dream better.
2010-02-13 12:49:40 PDT
Oh MAN it keeps getting funnier: Wayne Gretzky in the back of a pickup truck?! What, were they taking him to a party in Whalley? Budget WIN. I actually feel kinda sorry for VANOC now-- maybe I'll go buy a couple crappy $25 acrylic Olympic toques (...wait, where are those made, anyway?) at Zellers today so Wayne can afford a cab home from BC Place.
2010-02-12 17:16:41 PDT
7 billion dollars in Olympics costs so far. Seriously, how are people in BC on board with this nonsense? The media coverage makes me froth at the mouth-- no journalistic interrogation of this corrupt cronying garbage at all, just nauseating re-runs of asshats proposing to their girlfriends at the torch ceremonies to get on TV. Um okay congrats narcissists, but...what happened to the original budget? That I still voted "NO" on, as a Vancouver resident at the time? Because it was too fucking much money back then?
And man: I love hockey, okay? I love Team Canada hockey in particular. I love great sports, and athletic competition, and all that. I bawled like a fool for both the men's and women's winning hockey teams in 2002. Who doesn't love guts and will and heart? That's what I was blubbering for. I don't hate the athletes, I don't hate the notion. But hosting the Olympics isn't really about any of that: it's about manipulating people into forking our money over to politicians and corporations to play with. It's a burden so huge and so damaging that I just can't believe we've not only assumed it, but are paying The Bay to advertise it on our bodies. (And those mascots are absurd and infantile. Do we not live in the province of fuckin' badass orcas and grizzlies and Haida art? Could none of that hugeass, bloated budget have gone to a graphic designer who was not a 16-year-old female anime fan?)
...because, do the people out cheering know that we're paying for this? That's what I don't get. This isn't some big party that our politician parents are throwing for us, act as they will as though this is positive, and community-building, and some kind of privilege we should be grateful for. The tab is ours, and we'll be paying it off for YEEEARS, dude. And since it's my money too, I'd rather have efficient health care and not see a bunch of elementary schools closed down, and, you know, possibly some help and accomodation for all those homeless and mentally ill drug addicts and sex workers in Vancouver. Maybe a higher-education tuition reduction, if we're throwing billions of dollars around. Oh, oh!-- and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a pony.
I feel like I'm in a zombie movie.
2010-01-27 16:10:58 PDT
If anyone thinks they can park in my driveway to watch this bullshit (there have been 2 vehicles so far to pull in and sit there hopefully until they caught sight of me scowling from my window), I'm here to tell them it's balls o'clock. They can fuck off and park in Gordon Campbell's driveway.
Stupid Olympics.
2010-01-20 18:23:03 PDT
Clay and I got subpoenas today-- going to bylaw court against that guy whose dog charged us and bit Simon in the face when we were out walking. That should be an interesting experience, and I am going to look as vulnerably pregnant as possible. Okay, actually I look ridiculous, like a bobblehead of myself if the bobbleheady part had become lodged in my midsection, but no one at court needs to know that. I will strive to look misty and weepy and in touch with my sacred but fragile womanliness, like someone who would have her nude newborn photographed in a bed of flowers.
(Which, I've wondered lately: if you're going to do that stuff to your baby at all, why not dress them in a suit and pose them in an office setting? Why are those Anne Geddes-type babies always costumed at this weird intersection of fertility and constructed innocence-- bees, bunnies, fruit, eggs? I wonder why the objectification thing gets less okay as the specialness/innocence factor decreases-- like, why no babies dressed as gas station attendants? I am not gonna look this up, though, for fear of ending up on some corner of the internet where adults dress up in diapers and mate with whales or something.)
Cultural Pregnancy Irritation #46 aside, it's amazing to me how little responsibility this guy feels for his big, scary dog's behaviour, that he's actually willing to go to court and bluster when this is his year-old dog's 4th recorded offence, and 2nd bite. He's that sure he has a whisper of rightness here. Damn. How do people end up with senses of entitlement like this? Are they just more evolved than us, able to do-- no, absolutely justified in doing at all times and in all situations-- whatever they want? I need to get on that action, because training my dog to not intrude on people's personal space was kind of a hassle.
Which reminds me of Cultural Pregnancy Irritation #22: Don't Fucking Touch Me. Last week a young female student at the conference I went to, total stranger, trotted up to me and squealed "BABY!" (Um, not quite, but "ALIENY FETUS!" just isn't Anne Geddes enough I guess.) I just ignored her and continued my conversation with some school friends, because seriously, fuck off, until she stretched her paws out to my midsection, at which point I said pleasantly, "I'll break your hand," and she gave me the wet-eyed look of womany hurt and how to explain to someone like that that no, you do not get to have your feelings hurt simply because you didn't get your own way, which in this case was groping a stranger's body? And you don't get to have your feelings hurt either, Jay Leno!
I wonder if the case will be settled by dance-off, in true You Got Served fashion. If so, I'm fucked.
The Jesus
"Shit, I guess I'm going to miss Easter Dinner."
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