So I was lying - we had Bill's...

by jason

2003-07-14 11:39:18 PDT

So I was lying - we had Bill's stag this past weekend. I had to state otherwise in here, though, because Bill thought it was next weekend.

More to come later, but here's a brief summary of Bill's stag:

• Stealing Bill's new truck and filming his reaction to it is funny. Seriously funny.
• They have ping-pong tables at the strippers in Calgary. PING-PONG!! I played Dersh a best-of-five and took him to school in four games. He's better than I am, though - he's just reeeeally rusty. They even had really nice paddles. And it was FREE!!
• Bill does not look pretty in a dress and wig, especially with a lot of chin stubble.
• Alberta has a liquor store at least once on every block, with entertaining names like "Liquor Barn" and "Stampede Liquor."
• Bill is hilarious when he's golfing and gets mad. Not only did he throw his golf bag onto the fairway, scattering clubs everywhere, he managed to almost decapitate me with a serious slice a few holes later. I had to hit the deck.
• Apparently, ladies still love Jason's fireman shirt. Unfortunately, I apparently do not enjoy it when old drunk women, insist that I have their cigarettes and attempt to frisk me. (I think maybe she confused fireman and cop, but I'm not sure.)
• Some assclown golfing behind us hit his ball onto our fairway (I did the same thing a few times), which was okay, but he didn't yell or anything. The goddamn ball landed, no word of a lie, five feet from me.
• Albertan smoke packs are ridiculously big, and they're asymmetrical. 25 of them means you have to have 12 on one side and 13 on the other. It bothers me. I mean, I understand that the B.C. 20-pack, in king size, has three rows with seven, six, and seven cigarettes, but since they're cylindrical, it actually is rather pleasing to have them laid out like that. Looks kinda like it should be at the centre of a nuclear reactor, or maybe like an odd chain gun that shoots cigarettes, I dunno.
• Kurt still drives like a Grandma, though he did make an impressive run of passes near Revelstoke coming home. I think he was reaching the boiling point.
• I owe Kurt one (1) white sock, cotton.
• Socks do not make good napkins. Man, I hope that wasn't dirty.

Man, what a difference a week makes.

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