Shuuuut Uuuuup!

by fiona

2009-06-26 16:49:45 PDT

Yeah, I love Thriller, too. It's a great record. Michael Jackson was a fantastic dancer. I'm not saying you can't feel some wistfulness for the loss of a marker of your childhood, or even miss a cultural icon. But now that that's out of the way...

...dude!

The wailing over Michael Jackson the person? I demand that everyone shut the fuck up immediately. Michael Jackson was a pedophile. A rich, connected, protected pedophile who preyed on powerless, ill and poor kids. "Oh, but he wasn't convicted!" people are saying on message boards. Well, no. Funny how "rich" and "not-convicted" often go together. And by that logic, O.J. Simpson is not a murderer, either.

Suddenly the extreme child weirdness is totally dismissed. I'm seeing words like "eccentric" and "recluse" and "persecution" all over the place. Fuck off. Jackson was a "recluse" in the way a spider keeps to the centre of its web to see what drops in. And eccentric? That makes me think, say...Frank Zappa? Building a little kiddie train at your house that leads straight into your quasi-military pants is not "eccentric." It's "predatory."

And I love how all these whiners are explaining all that oddly juvenile landscaping away with the wounded unicorn Christ fetus nonsense. Oh, he never had a childhood! His dad was mean! He was too gentle-- fame killed him! Um, no. It's a trick: Get an ax. It was a fucking PERSONA!

Because how much more obvious could the guy make it that he was a sophisticated, experienced sexual predator? I mean, there's a lot of actual crushing evidence (Confirmed penile mottling? Good the fuck enough) that he was a molester that never made it to trial because he bought the accusers off, but we don't even need to know that, because anyone can see that Jackson built a kid honeytrap. If some childless bachelor dude who had never recorded Thriller put a Ferris wheel and monkeys and arcade and shit in his yard, Spidey would be like, "Uh-oh. Rape carnival's in town." But no: Michael Jackson just wanted to recapture his childhood. Well, the "capture" and "child" part, sure. Normal men do not admit to having sleepovers with kids. No, not just kids-- male kids. Always boys, of a certain age and look. That's not some charming, ragtag band of Lost Boys. It's a fetish.

And fuckin' Facebook-- "We'll miss you sooo much!" all over the place. Yeah, you know who's not going to miss Michael? 11-year-old Latino boys. I'm truly amazed at the sentimental and nauseating grief-posts: "We love you forever, MJ!" "I'll keep you in my heart!" Clay and I amused ourselves last night bein' dicks on these kinds of Facebook statuses, and people get freakin' outraged when you take the piss out of this. "Have some respect!" Oh, wait-- did some nice person also named Michael Jackson die yesterday? Because I thought we were talking about the ghoulish, narcissistic child rapist. Sorry.

The Onion had it exactly right, a long time ago: The Michael Jackson everyone's thinking of died in like 1985. But people seem to want to love him again, now; they're relieved to have that bleached Cryptkeeper impostor with the prepubescent entourage dead, so that they can fix him in place as that handsome, talented young guy chompin' on the popcorn in the Thriller video. Hey, I liked that guy, too, as a fun pop-cultural projection. But keeping the Mayor of Creepytown in our hearts? Really? Why? Is everyone so afraid of being left behind by the little Neverland train of contrived grief? The guy was a talented entertainer, but my calculator says that that's not enough to buy two decades of blameless kidsexing.

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