People Under the Stairs.

by fiona

2008-01-12 01:08:07 PDT

The crazy alcoholic couple downstairs has been getting along lately, mostly. It could have something to do with the fact that they haven't been drinking for a few months. But tonight, I came home to hits of the '80s blasting from the basement suite, and the Giant from Twin Peaks appeared to me in a pool of light and announced that it was happening again. That was at about 10.15. It's now 12.30, and they've really got down to the insanity.

Crazy Woman: So you're saying I'm bad in bed?

Fiona: *boggle*

Dude: mumblemumble

CW: What, am I boring? Am I? AM I?

Dude: mumb...blemumble?

CW: Don't give me that horseshit!

Foreigner: I would like to know what love is?

Dude: mumble. mumblemumble!

CW: No, that wasn't it. You weren't even drinking then! You weren't drunk, so don't even-- what, you don't like my TITS?!

Fiona: OH JESUS

Dude: mumble!

CW: I am NOT asking dumb questions!

Foreigner: I would like you to show me?

CW: You cheated on me, man!

Dude: mumBLE! MUMBLE!

Foreigner: Also, I would like to feel what love is?

CW: I NEVER fucked other guys! I WAS ALWAYS THERE! EVERY FUCKING TIME!

*SMASH!* *SMASHITY!*

CW: IT'S ALL FUCKIN' LIES! *smash* Loser! *smash* DICK...DICKASS!

Foreigner: I know you can show-- wait, "dickass?"

Oh, the Foreigner just gave way to "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins. I LOVE IT. I am a bad person. But you know, I figure them doing this this way pays my admission. Drunks thrive on this crap.